In life, there are moments where we have to say goodbye, your first painful parting is etched in the brain, like a sculpture being carved, and it stays with you forever and defines you as a person. As we grow older, saying goodbye becomes far more difficult, during our youth, we always assume there would be another tomorrow to come.
Recently, acceptance of time has become my reality. Time for things to change, time for things to end and time for new beginnings. Life continues to move forward no matter what happens around us. I try to believe that everything happens for a reason, that each soul that is brought into our lives is there for a purpose, a reason, sort of like filling a void in your life that only that person can fill.
I have had my share of comings and goings, from my earliest of childhood to even today; I can look back on everyone that has been in my life and see the purpose behind it, remember something amazing they taught me, or learned from the hurt they left behind. Sometimes it's not obvious until much later, but it always appears, usually out of nowhere when I least expect it. It is what molds us and makes us the individuals that we are, it gives us insight into how to overcome adversity, open up to others and allow ourselves to feel something for another human being. Finding the good in everyone, even those who cause more pain, then joy, is the key, because they all have a lesson, if you are willing to accept it.
With any thing worth having, there are moments of pain, the ending of a relationship, the death of a child, a squabble that turns into silence. All things that make us rethink our devotion to wanting to start over, or feel anything again. What we fail to see, is that they are bringing us to a different place, one where we have the ability to make the rest of our time here worth having.
One of the trickiest relationships to manage is the relationship as a parent, we care and nurture our children and as they grow, they separate themselves from who we are. They learn to stand on their own two feet and make their way into the world alone, sometimes it's terrifying, yet on the other hand, it provides moments of intense joy and pride over the people they have become.
This week has been one of confusing emotions, it's a collision of happiness and sorrow; one of pride and apprehension, one of pain and acceptance. I will start with sorrow...because the most amazing wish child is fighting for her life and although she has far outlived any expectation, it is still a painful process to accept that this star might fade out. Listening to her mother talk about how her daughter is lightly clinging to her hand, knowing that the moments are drawing near is painful to even think about, it's a last goodbye, the type we all can't even begin to fathom. She has brought so much joy to so many, even those with whom she has never met, or only seen at a glance, her smile lights up the room and mesmerizes everyone in her presence. She is certainly one of the angels on earth and I hope her goodbye is delayed just a little longer.
Then there is the time when your children begin to move on, they become their own person and begin to explore the world. This is the case for my son, you see he is leaving on an adventure of a lifetime, one I could only dream about, he's flying to Europe for three weeks to travel through Spain, Italy and France, seeing the world in only the way he can. The experience is one that he will always remember; it will mold him as a person and open his eyes to things outside the streets of the city where we live. We will both grow, as I say goodbye at the airport, wave him through security, and allow him to start the journey towards the rest of his life. While the fear of letting him go has at times overwhelmed me, the joy and pride of his being selected and having the opportunity is beyond any words that I could ever imagine.
Really saying goodbye and letting go is part of the natural progression of life, it seems so black and white and common sense for many, but until you are in the midst of it all, its hard to see how you will come out of it in the end. Many cling to it in hopes that if they hold on tighter it will remain the same, but life has a way of happening regardless.