Have you ever had someone in your life that left it and you aren’t sure why? It is not as if it was anything horrible, or some huge blow up or argument, just a choice one day for things to be different, so much so that you can’t even understand why it happened. It doesn’t matter what type of relationship it is, or was, it still leaves you feeling like something is missing, something important to you, like your lucky charm, or rabbits foot, after its been lost… you are still reaching for it hoping to find it right where you left it.
In my life I sort of collect people, like a rare gem collection, I carry them with me forever. I have friends in my life from when I was just a child that I still keep up with, it may not be every day, and it may not be once a month, but they are still there… within reach. Recently, someone left my life and as hard as I try to come to some reconsiliation towards the reasoning, it always leaves me with a question. It’s not as though they aren’t still there, its just that everything changed so quickly that I really can’t wrap my brain around the reasoning behind it and somewhere deep down I wish it was different.
For now, the hard part is accepting the loss and not understanding the why of it all… why do we all want and need closure to understand and move on in life? Why is speaking the truth so difficult for some? In reality, there is little that could be said that would hurt my feelings, as I get older, peoples thoughts/feelings/opinions of the person I am, mean absolutely nothing… but still at times an explanation of what might have occurred would be reasonable in most instances…
For now, its as if suddenly a piece of me is missing, like a finger is gone and I have no idea what happened to it… maybe with time it will re-grow and I will get passed the nagging feeling that I have lost something important and significant to me… until then, I will focus on the amazing people that want to be in my life and enjoy them to the fullest.