Have you ever had a moment where you felt like you were going to burst with joy? You know the feeling, where you are so happy that you are waiting for the bubble to pop, so that you can get back to reality. It's those moments that most people wait their whole lives for, for some it never appears, for others, they just can't seem to get enough. To me… love, is loving someone completely; seeing their bad side and loving them anyway; helping them be successful and supporting them at whatever they choose to do in life, not be negative, or run them down, so how do you even get to that point, if you aren't willing to see the possibilities?
I never really thought that I would feel that type of love, you know the kind of love that is pure and unconditional, that you overlook the weakness and focus totally on everything good in the other person, but I somehow found it, however losing it became more difficult then the years of searching for it.
Knowing true love and losing it, is sort of like looking through a catalog and finding the perfect item, down to the very last thread, it is exactly what you had always hoped for and always dreamed of, you enjoyed it and cherished it, but after a while, it started falling apart. You tried as hard as you could to repair it, sew it back together, keep applying glue, but in the end, it fell to shreds and you were at a loss.
Somehow deep in your mind, you know that you will never find anything else quite like it and it takes away some of the joy in finding it, nothing seems as exciting, or even enticing. Everything seems so vanilla, so ordinary, and so unreal; it makes you dread ever venturing down that path again.
Really, the loss is leading you to new opportunities, allows growth to either change the things holding you back, or gives you insight into a different world you didn’t know existed. Each relationship has taught me something more about myself, its given me a picture of the person I want to be, the person I want to spend my life with and what I will and won’t accept for my future. Hurt and pain are part of the process, they are part of grieving and moving on. Forgiveness and understanding gives a person the opportunity to move on too a better part of their life without regret, without baggage.
I think love happens when you aren't really looking; it just happens... it’s the person you bump into at the grocery store, or run into in the elevator, its not Hollywood fantasy, its real life, its clicking when the time is right. Or, its in falling in love with the person you are and accepting yourself, regardless of who is, or isn’ tin your life… loving yourself is the hardest type of love to accept unconditionally.
Dating, not dating, I have found that my friends have become the most important part of my life. They are always there to lift you up, or tell it like it is, I cherish them so much for their honesty and unconditional love and support. If I find Mr. Right, then great, if not, then that is fine too… I have had enough love in my life for a lifetime…