Music video by Blue October performing The Chills. (C) 2011 Up/Down Records
Have you ever played roulette? You know the game of chance that involves the colors
red and black and winning is contingent on a tiny little ball, landing just so? The odds are stacked against the player actually winning anything, because they must not only play, but they must also have fate and luck on their side... like the stars aligning all at the same time... just in order for them to win.
I have always been a believer in true love, the kind of love that two people are supposed to share, growing old together, laughing and loving each other, sharing part of themselves and the people in their life, so much so that everyone envies them and wonders how they do it. I, like many women, grew up watching TV and fantasizing about what life would be like when we found our Mr. Right... but as we get older, the reality of relationships seems to set in and it ends up being nothing like Hollywood fiction. As anyone who has been married
can tell you, relationships are hard, especially today, infidelity, lies, deceit, you name it... it takes a toll on even the strongest of couples, so how do they manage to stay strong and make it work?
I tend to throw myself into relationships a 110%, not because I mind being alone, but because I like the idea of being with another person, I like the idea of being committed to something greater than myself. Usually my relationships have come about by chance meetings and last a significant period of time; I am not one to fly in and out of love... I've been told I fall in and out of love very
much the same way... hard. I never truly leave a relationship, because I tend to carry the people in my life along with me, I find it hard to let them go, because they become a part of me, even the bad ones. Ultimately I realize that each person has taught me something good about myself, making me more capable f a true and honest relationship the next time around. Each one is like a missing piece to the puzzle, searching until I find the perfect fit, the one that has all the right missing pieces that seems to tie it all together.
I believe in life there are various avenues we can venture down, through destiny or fate, or just plain divine intervention, no matter what your beliefs I truly believe we all have a path that we are meant to walk down to get us ultimately where we need to be... good, bad or indifferent, they make us stronger, they show us what we do and don't want in the future and they teach us to be open enough to see something spectacular when it happens.
A small thing as a chance meeting, by a fluke or by fate could lead to something amazing, something completely unexpected and almost baffles your mind at how it all came about. You could find someone who is just like you, who has experienced the same adversities in love and life as you, who carries the same characteristics personally and well... who seems to make the puzzle pieces fit. Of course, at this point in life you are far more cautious, you are far more careful and you can almost talk yourself out of anything, age and wisdom teach
you that maybe you should be fearful of the familiarity, the unusual comfort you feel in the other persons presence... or just the shear fact that timing and life seem to have bring you to this place and time where your lives both intersect.
No one knows what the future holds, to be honest taking a lot of stock in another person is almost foreign to me at this point, there have been plenty of disappointments and failures on my part as well as others, to make me wonder if there is such a thing as true love, but somewhere deep down inside me, I still feel it, I still feel like it’s possible, especially when presented with the most amazing coincidences that it makes you question fate and divine intervention itself... perfect timing truly does exist... it’s what you make of that moment in time that truly matters...